CC vs. Child-Centered

Question: I'm confused about the idea of child-centeredness, when the child's in control of everyone,like you said (unCC) and the idea of a child's freedom to choose (CC?) everything. Are they one and the same?

Answer: No, they are not the same thing.

I'm going to try to give some concrete examples to help illustrate the difference. (The following examples have all occurred in my home).

CC 1

Child wanders into the kitchen, fixes a ketchup and mustard sandwich, grabs a magazine and sits at the table eating. Goes into the bathroom to get water.

CC 2

Mom toodles around the kitchen preparing dinner (burritos, bread pudding, soup, whatever). Child walks in and says: I don't want that, I want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Mom makes sandwich. Everyone eats.

CC 3

Mom makes dinner, child just eats what's there.

Child-centered:

At child's request, mom makes peanut butter and jelly sandwich, sandwich rejected because of the color of the plate, switch plates; sandwich rejected because of crusts, cut crusts off; sandwich rejected because it is too big, cut into squares; rejection escalates to screaming because the sandwich isn't in triangles and the jelly is leaking out. Child now wants waffles. Put waffles in toaster, more screaming. Child wants frozen waffles. Give child frozen waffle, one bite, more screaming, wants syrup. Mom gets syrup. More screaming, wants hot waffle, but not waffle with bite out of it. Eventually, sister eats cold waffle with missing bite, son eats hot waffle with syrup.

There is an enormous difference between making your own choices and decisions for yourself and being thrust in a position of being in charge of everyone else's behavior.

TCCMaven

CC vs. Child-Centered